Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
