is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
