I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize