How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize