there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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