I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
