this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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