So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
