i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
