I think I am morally bankrupt
It's just like the Real World with babies
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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