And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
