Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
