I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
