Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
