Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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