I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Green mimosas i think yes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
