watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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