What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
