is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
