when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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