found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
