drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
