I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
