I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
