basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
