I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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