I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
