it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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