you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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