I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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