does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
