South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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