id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You made out with two different species that night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
