are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
