Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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