When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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