At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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