We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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