did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
