Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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