My sheets look like a crime scene.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
