OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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