I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
