I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
