Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
