just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Shame - the story of my life.
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