i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
