i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize