My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
