PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
