I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
