According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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