went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think my mom watched the whole time
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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