I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
As shirtless as possible
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
