sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
