walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
