Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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