New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
