So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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